Well shit…

Similar to last weekend, this weekend did not go as well as I had hoped. Another first call out, but yet again, falling short of the top two placement and that national qualification…sigh.

To say that I wasn’t disappointed would be a lie. Obviously I wanted that top two spot, shit I wanted to win the overall! That was the whole reason behind jumping into this show, so I could qualify in time for Chicago. Adam and I were almost sure I would get at least top 3, but fell short of both with a 4th place finish. By no means am I mad about it, but I am definitely not satisfied.

Although I’m a little bummed about not going to Chicago for Junior Nationals next weekend, it was never my main focus this prep. I’ve had Team Universe on my mind for the last 25 weeks. I knew that I wanted to  shoot for Team U as the last show of my season, Junior Nats was just right before it and a good opportunity to get more stage time. Buuuuuut I STILL need my national qualification for this now don’t I?

This season has definitely not gone as I had planned; not in the slightest. I went back and forth about Michigan being my last show of the season. Did I want to just stop now, and end my season early? Did I want to jump into another show in the next week or two to go for the NQ one more time? Did I really want to do 3 peak weeks back to back? Should I just try again next year?

All of these things were rolling around in my head…for about 7 minutes. Then I snapped out of it and remembered who the fuck I am, and what I came out to do this year.

HELLLLLLLLL YEA IM TRYING AGAIN! I already have my entry, tan, and hotel booked for The Mid Atlantic Cup in Pittsburg this coming weekend. So yes, 3 peak weeks in a row. Lucky number 3. 3rd times the charm. Cara fit THREE. Whichever way you want to sprinkle some juju in there, I’m doing this show.

And let me just say that I am extremely excited for this one! I’ve honestly been feeling super excited for all my shows this season. I feel great, I feel ready, and I always have a blast on show day! IM IN LOVE IM IN LOVE AND I DONT CARE WHO KNOWS IT! I genuinely love this sport. It drives me, pushes me, and most definitely humbles me.

We all know bodybuilding is a subjective sport (how many times have we all said this?), and some people handle things differently than others, but at the end of the day, we get what we get. I mentioned in my last blog what kind of competitor I am, and what kind I’m not. While things most definitely have not gone as I had previously hoped, these are not “losses” in my book. They’re simply chapters that have a few plot twists at the end. So far this season, I have competed twice in two weeks, in which I was in first call outs in both. A blessing! An opportunity to showcase my hard work. A place to be among like minded, hard working bad asses who share my passion. This has been an amazing experience nonetheless!

I have had an absolute blast this season, and have met some amazing people. Shout out to my Team Tall girls! Both of my class winners the last two weeks have gone on to win the overall, and I am so proud of them! I love seeing me some Tall Glasses of Sass up there battling! These girls push me to be better. They make me want more!

This is why I’m ecstatic to continue pushing this prep. I’ve got one, maybe two (*wink) more shows in me this June, and they’re going to be a blast no matter what. Like anything in life, the experiences you have are only as great as you allow them to be. Control the controllables. Allow yourself to feel what you feel, but make sure that regardless of the end of your story, you make this chapter a passionate, fun, sassy, and amazing one. The only thing we can control in this life is how we react to the things that happen to, and around us. Be the vision of hope and hell when you step on that stage, and a vision of grace as you step off it.

My time will come. Maybe this June, maybe next, but it will come.

This morning I had opened up a fortune cookie from my parents’ left over Chinese last night, and what it said shook me to my core.

“Right now there is an energy pushing you to stay on your path.”

(Among the lucky numbers were BOTH my stage numbers from these past 2 shows.)

*Walter White voice* – You’re god damn right.

Pittsburg, I’m coming for you [and with a new suit]! 😉

One Comment Add yours

  1. Rachael Goins says:

    Thanks for sharing your journey competing this year! I’m definitely learning a lot more about the sport with your posts.

    Liked by 1 person

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